Not to make light of the issue, but the Clay Aiken story reminds me of this scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdbs3lKEeBE from The Kids in The Hall's movie "Brain Candy".
I think if a child is happy and healthy that's all that matters.
Tom Hall
· 1 year ago
Love is love. I am a gay dad with 3 kids - ages 16, 15 and 12. Partnered for 6 years - my kids treat me like any other straight dad. They ignore my texts, my phone calls EXCEPT when they need something. Typical teens - they view their "pop" as another parent.
Funny thing is - I was married to a woman for 11 years - same dad - same parent. Didn't seem to make a difference then - why should it now?
Doug C.
· 1 year ago
This is horrible. Those poor kids. Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute should be ashamed. I hope God does something about this disgusting trend.
Klaus Holzapfel
· 1 year ago
I think it is sad we even have to talk about this. Didn't like the prior comment from Doug C. at all. Can we leave god out of this please?
It should be a no-brainer for everyone that a child is way better off with a loving caring adoption parent than staying in a foster home.
Oh good lord. *Please* don't include Clay Aiken in your discussion about gay adoption. The guy just came out of the closet! The thing that most social science research has concluded is that gay and lesbian adults in committed relationships are likely to be very good parents, because they have had to get to 'know themselves', more so than mainstream society. And by including Clay Aiken in this conversation you poison that research. He has biologically fathered a child with someone he is *not* in a committed relationship with, AND he just figured out he was gay. Not a good role model at all.
Clay Aiken is not a Gay Dad. He is a coming-out individual who has biologically fathered a child.
Julie Roads
· 1 year ago
I agree about not using Clay Aiken. Listen, good people are good people, bad people are bad people. If I hear one more argument against same-sex marriage that sites the sanctity of heterosexual marriage (with its high divorce and domestic abuse rates). Ever heard horror stories about hetero foster and adoptive parents? I've heard tons. Interview the PEOPLE who want to adopt, check their history, get references. Good people who want to help should be able to - end of story.
Thanks for writing about this topic...
Greg Hollingsworth
· 1 year ago
Gay marriage and gay adoption shouldn't even be issues at this point. As a heterosexual male, married with two kids, I don't see how gay men or women getting married can in any way harm the sanctity of my relationship to my wife. I certainly don't see how parenting has anything to do with sexuality and to be honest, I think that most of my gay friends would make much better parents than most of my straight friends.
Social conservatives need to come to the realization that they do not get to hold serve on morality and ethical behavior in our society. Nor should religious admonishments of homosexuality have anything to do with the laws that govern our country.
Dominick
· 1 year ago
I could comment on this in multiple ways. So, let me start by saying, GLBT adoption and marriage should be legal! It is a travesty to deny children in need good homes. The American Pediatrics Association, American Psychological Association and many other groups have found GLBT parents are as capable and loving as heterosexual parents! In fact, they found children of GLBT parents were as well adjusted as kids in heterosexual households and not surprisingly the majority of these kids were more compassionate towards others.
Are we forgetting that GLBT parents don't breed GLBT kids any more than heterosexual parents do? In fact, many of the GLBT folks I know (and I know many, especially from my college days), have heterosexual parents. Some of these folks didn't even know what gay was until they came out! Some of them had absolutely no exposure to GLBT people before coming out. All of my friends came from varying walks of life. Some had liberal parents. Some had conservative parents. Some lived in restrictive Christian homes, others were Jewish, Muslim, Agnostic or Atheist. Seriously, I know a diverse group of GLBT folks, so religion, parenting, and whether your parent is GLBT or not has absolutely no factor in whether you're GLBT.
That being said, I'm so sick of the Bible being used as an excuse for condemning GLBT folks and GLBT relationships/adoption rights. The Bible with all its negativity is in its translated form. Over the years, it has been bastardized and changed to suit the needs of the translator. Take for instance, King James. How come many people don't know James was known for his homosexual trysts? He was so effeminate, many in his court and kingdom referred to him as "Queen" James. This is a well known fact by historians, yet King James' version of the Bible says homosexuality is bad. So, James condoned himself, but kept having homosexual relationships? Does anyone not realize this was put in to appease the church who still had a lot of power, at this point? It's hypocrisy at its best.
Anyone who understands the original Ancient Greek translation of The Bible can tell you there is absolutely NO clear condemnation of homosexuality. Rather, it discusses the condemnation of 'pagan temple slaves'. Remember Christianity was almost destroyed by what they call the pagan religions (and I'm not going to get into how the term pagan is derogatory). So, anything 'pagan' was highly condemned. The temple slaves were known for their orgies. This included sex with men, by men. So, that's how it got misconstrued to "condemnation of homosexuals". In true interpretation it's condemning pagan orgies and the temple slaves that had them. Hardly the same thing as condemning gays.
Still, people are so used to the English translations, they believe those are the true word, so it is GLBT people who suffer from the misinterpretation, in the end.
I got off topic, so I'll just finish by saying, I'm 100% for GLBT adoption and marriage. It is not harming anyone and same sex coupling has been around for centuries. Hopefully, it won't take another century for people to realize that denying GLBT people marriage/adoption rights is wrong.
Doug C.
· 1 year ago
So many talk about gays loving kids just like regular people and I am amazed at the naivety of these statements. The main topic here are the children. A child should have a mother and a father, not two gay people - what kind of influence is that? Children have enough trouble as it is growing up in this world so it is vital that they have good heterosexual parents to help raise them.
Dominick
· 1 year ago
Doug - Research is showing that's wrong. Kids raised by homosexuals are as well adjusted as kids raised by heterosexual parents. In fact, most are more compassionate, something you apparently don't know much about.
If you want homosexuals to stop adopting then maybe heterosexual parents should stop having homosexual kids.
Do you even know one gay family? Have you ever seen how much their children love them? Have you ever seen how well adjusted most of them are? I have and its a beautiful sight to see! My best friend from college is a lesbian and she is fabulous with kids. She plans to one day adopted disabled children to give them a loving, caring, stable home.
So, you're saying that an abusive father and drunk mother is better than two loving, caring same-sex parents?
You said a kid needs a mom and a dad. I'd rather see a loving same-sex couple raise a child then a dysfunctional heterosexual couple. You are the naive one if you think a mom and dad are the only parents kids should have.
Let's deny all these children permanent homes with loving homosexual parents and keep them in foster care or worse yet, orphanages (which are still big in other parts of the world).
Kids need love, understanding, compassion and morals. Even the homosexual families you condemn have morals. In fact, many have morals similar to heterosexual couples...like "don't do drugs" or "abstinence is the best course of action" or even "be good, caring human beings".
It shows in how many youth are being raised by homosexual parents that their parents care and love them. It is only when closed minded people stereotype (i.e. a boy needs a dad to become a man) that the world becomes a much sadder place.
Greg Hollingsworth
· 1 year ago
The most important thing a child needs is to know that they are loved. Bad parents are bad parents (gay or straight), it makes no difference. In my experience, most people do not adopt children because they want to be bad parents.
The debate here should not be about sexuality, it should be based on whether or not the individuals are going to be good, loving, caring parents. Sexuality makes as much difference as to the quality of parenting skills as religious or political views.
The problem with the debate is that, not unlike most other controversial subjects, it has been co-opted by the religious side of the conservative aisle, the side that tells us that Gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of the institution, or that Harry Potter is teaching our children witchcraft.
While I do not know any gay couples who have adopted, and know that several of them would make very good parents, I also know several that would not make good parents. So, they're a lot like my straight friends.
People are people, regardless of their sexuality, straight or gay there are people who are meant to be parents, and people who aren't.
Dominick
· 1 year ago
Hey Greg - Very well said. I always hate when people who don't even know anyone gay comment on what gay people should be allowed to do (or not) do. What gives them the right to say a gay person can have kids or adopt? It's truly sad when the state tries to take kids away from parents (biological parents no less) just because they're gay. It makes my blood boil just thinking about how blatantly discriminatory this is.
Greg Hollingsworth
· 1 year ago
The problem with this issue is that our society is too comfortable, meaning that anything that pushes them to experience something outside of their "traditional" values is immediately seen through the lens of fear. I'm certainly included in this group, we all are, it's how we're raised.
I have many gay friends (mostly men) and to be honest, (speaking as a straight man) seeing two men kiss makes me feel weird, not wrong, just weird. But you know what, seeing a 65 year old man kiss a 25 year old woman makes me feel weird too.
Sexuality, whether it is our own or someone else's, is something that we all have to deal with in our own ways, but more importantly we need to find a way to prove to ourselves that people are just people, regardless of who they love, and treat them with the respect they deserve as people, not as homosexuals or heterosexuals, liberal or conservative, believer or non-believer. Good people are good people, regardless of belief or persuasion.
Jessica
· 10 months ago
well i am about to write an essay about GAY PEOPLE SHPULD BE ALLOWED TO ADOPT because its a really interesting topic to me. about 39 states dont allow gay couples to adopt, but i think they should be allowed to because all children want and need is a family. The older kids can choose what type of parents they want.
Anyways the reason i am writing this is because i went thru most of these comments and it helped alot with supports and their opinions.. so i wanna thank you all!
donnarheawalker
· 3 months ago
HELLO MY NAME IS DONNA RHEA WALKER MY SON WAS IN FOSTERCARE DCS IN CALIFORNIA THE COURTS LET A GAY COUPLE ADOPT MY SON I AGREED TO IT BECAUSE THEY SAID IT WOULD BE AN OPEN ADOPTION WHERE I COULD STILL BE APART OF HIS LIFE AND RECIVE VISTS BUT WHEN I RECIVED THE COURTS FINNAL PAPERWORK AT THE END IT SAID THIS IS A CLOSED ADOPTION NO CONTACT ALLOWED .NOW I AM ON THE SEARCH FOR MY SON ELIJAH JEREIMAIHA WALKER ... TO THE TWO MEN WHO HAVE HIM PLEASE CALL ME HIS BIRTHDAY IS JULY 1ST HE IS 9-10 YEARS OLD THEY HAVE HAD HIM FOR ABOUT 7YEARS NOW SO HAVE A HEART AND LET ME BE APART OF YOURS AND HIS LIFE HE IS ASKING QUESTIONS NOW ABOUT HIS MOTHER AND FATHER SO JUST WHAT DO YOU SAY??? CALL ME AT 323 8226404 OR 213 537 0098 THANK YOU MY EMAIL ID IS DONNARHEA4U@HOTMAIL.COM OR DONNARHEA2@YAHOO.COM
All Comments
I think if a child is happy and healthy that's all that matters.
Funny thing is - I was married to a woman for 11 years - same dad - same parent. Didn't seem to make a difference then - why should it now?
It should be a no-brainer for everyone that a child is way better off with a loving caring adoption parent than staying in a foster home.
Maybe use some of Archbishop Desmond Tutu's words in England yesterday as guidance: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7100295.stm
Clay Aiken is not a Gay Dad. He is a coming-out individual who has biologically fathered a child.
Thanks for writing about this topic...
Social conservatives need to come to the realization that they do not get to hold serve on morality and ethical behavior in our society. Nor should religious admonishments of homosexuality have anything to do with the laws that govern our country.
Are we forgetting that GLBT parents don't breed GLBT kids any more than heterosexual parents do? In fact, many of the GLBT folks I know (and I know many, especially from my college days), have heterosexual parents. Some of these folks didn't even know what gay was until they came out! Some of them had absolutely no exposure to GLBT people before coming out. All of my friends came from varying walks of life. Some had liberal parents. Some had conservative parents. Some lived in restrictive Christian homes, others were Jewish, Muslim, Agnostic or Atheist. Seriously, I know a diverse group of GLBT folks, so religion, parenting, and whether your parent is GLBT or not has absolutely no factor in whether you're GLBT.
That being said, I'm so sick of the Bible being used as an excuse for condemning GLBT folks and GLBT relationships/adoption rights. The Bible with all its negativity is in its translated form. Over the years, it has been bastardized and changed to suit the needs of the translator. Take for instance, King James. How come many people don't know James was known for his homosexual trysts? He was so effeminate, many in his court and kingdom referred to him as "Queen" James. This is a well known fact by historians, yet King James' version of the Bible says homosexuality is bad. So, James condoned himself, but kept having homosexual relationships? Does anyone not realize this was put in to appease the church who still had a lot of power, at this point? It's hypocrisy at its best.
Anyone who understands the original Ancient Greek translation of The Bible can tell you there is absolutely NO clear condemnation of homosexuality. Rather, it discusses the condemnation of 'pagan temple slaves'. Remember Christianity was almost destroyed by what they call the pagan religions (and I'm not going to get into how the term pagan is derogatory). So, anything 'pagan' was highly condemned. The temple slaves were known for their orgies. This included sex with men, by men. So, that's how it got misconstrued to "condemnation of homosexuals". In true interpretation it's condemning pagan orgies and the temple slaves that had them. Hardly the same thing as condemning gays.
Still, people are so used to the English translations, they believe those are the true word, so it is GLBT people who suffer from the misinterpretation, in the end.
I got off topic, so I'll just finish by saying, I'm 100% for GLBT adoption and marriage. It is not harming anyone and same sex coupling has been around for centuries. Hopefully, it won't take another century for people to realize that denying GLBT people marriage/adoption rights is wrong.
If you want homosexuals to stop adopting then maybe heterosexual parents should stop having homosexual kids.
Do you even know one gay family? Have you ever seen how much their children love them? Have you ever seen how well adjusted most of them are? I have and its a beautiful sight to see! My best friend from college is a lesbian and she is fabulous with kids. She plans to one day adopted disabled children to give them a loving, caring, stable home.
So, you're saying that an abusive father and drunk mother is better than two loving, caring same-sex parents?
You said a kid needs a mom and a dad. I'd rather see a loving same-sex couple raise a child then a dysfunctional heterosexual couple. You are the naive one if you think a mom and dad are the only parents kids should have.
Let's deny all these children permanent homes with loving homosexual parents and keep them in foster care or worse yet, orphanages (which are still big in other parts of the world).
Kids need love, understanding, compassion and morals. Even the homosexual families you condemn have morals. In fact, many have morals similar to heterosexual couples...like "don't do drugs" or "abstinence is the best course of action" or even "be good, caring human beings".
It shows in how many youth are being raised by homosexual parents that their parents care and love them. It is only when closed minded people stereotype (i.e. a boy needs a dad to become a man) that the world becomes a much sadder place.
The debate here should not be about sexuality, it should be based on whether or not the individuals are going to be good, loving, caring parents. Sexuality makes as much difference as to the quality of parenting skills as religious or political views.
The problem with the debate is that, not unlike most other controversial subjects, it has been co-opted by the religious side of the conservative aisle, the side that tells us that Gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of the institution, or that Harry Potter is teaching our children witchcraft.
While I do not know any gay couples who have adopted, and know that several of them would make very good parents, I also know several that would not make good parents. So, they're a lot like my straight friends.
People are people, regardless of their sexuality, straight or gay there are people who are meant to be parents, and people who aren't.
I have many gay friends (mostly men) and to be honest, (speaking as a straight man) seeing two men kiss makes me feel weird, not wrong, just weird. But you know what, seeing a 65 year old man kiss a 25 year old woman makes me feel weird too.
Sexuality, whether it is our own or someone else's, is something that we all have to deal with in our own ways, but more importantly we need to find a way to prove to ourselves that people are just people, regardless of who they love, and treat them with the respect they deserve as people, not as homosexuals or heterosexuals, liberal or conservative, believer or non-believer. Good people are good people, regardless of belief or persuasion.
Anyways the reason i am writing this is because i went thru most of these comments and it helped alot with supports and their opinions.. so i wanna thank you all!