DISQUS

edwelch · 1 year ago

Hello Jeff:

Thanks for this post. My little baby girl is now close to 9 years old. You wrote about things I've thought of often. I've wondered about "being the jerK" or messing up and continuing to treat her as a little girl - rather than a developing young woman. It all happens SO fast!

Anway, it's nice to read the thoughts of others who might be experiencing something a few years before myself. I suppose it's one of those things a dad needs to feel his way through.

Best,

Ed

Jeff Sass · 1 year ago

Ed, Yes, time flies and yes, as the father of a little girl you will constantly be dreading the day she "grows up" and you have to choose to be the jerk or not when she starts bringing boys by. LOL. Cherish 9, it is a WONDERFUL age for little girls! Thanks for your comment!

- Jeff

Ann Handley · 1 year ago

Jeff -- I kinda got a lump in my throat when I read this, because it reminds me of my 11-going-on-41-year-old. One day, she's pushing a baby stroller with her dolls in it, and the next she's asking me about Facebook. It happens overnight -- or so it seems. When she and her brother were young, I sometimes thought that the days crawled so slowly. It's kicked up a few notches in the last few years, it seems. But it's all good, and it just gets more interesting every day. As you say:

"The joy I get in being here to witness their first wobbly steps into adulthood is every bit as exciting as the joy I got from watching their first wobbly steps across the living room floor so many years ago."

(the sound you hear is me busting out for a good cry)

: )

Jeff Sass · 1 year ago

Ann, time does seem to move faster as we (and they) grow older. The good news is that we will always be the parents, and they will always find ways (intentionally or not) to make life "interesting" for us. At any age there is never a dull moment. Thanks for commenting. Great to see you here ;-)

Stu Andrews · 1 year ago

Jeff,

Good stuff. Have yet to get to teen or even tween dom. But it's approaching fast. Already my girls are moving on their own paths.

Your last header is very cool. Letting go IS harder than wiping a dirty bottom :).

Jeff Sass · 1 year ago

Thanks Stu. It does go fast and little girls very quickly develop "a mind of their own" so (to steal another movie cliche) hang on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride ! That said, it is going to be a wonderful ride! Enjoy it! :-)

Marc Sirkin · 1 year ago

This is a great, great post, and one that makes me sad in some ways, and super excited in others... I'm certainly NOT ready and don't think I'll ever be ready.

Good movie reference in your post, but I'll stick with the relationship that Stever Martin had with his daugther "Father of the Bride" and how it evolved. Well meaning but awkward.

George (Me): Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.
Annie (My daughter): Dad!
George (Me): [shrieks in embarrassment] Seat belt! I meant, I meant seat belt.

My eldest is 11 right now, and like many girls her age sometimes seems as if she's 30, and the moment later is back to being a little girl. I've done as much as I can so far (and have lots of work left to do here) in trying to instill core values and and understanding of the world around her so that she grows up to be a strong minded but fair human being. I'm open and honest with her and I think it's paying off.

I've heard much from friends about having girls and how the teen years will be so hard... I'm about to find out but I do have hope. I've kept the lines of communication WIDE open with her about everything and anything (the sex talk is probably going to have to happen sooner than later I'm thinking, though we haven't gone there quite yet). We talk about friends and friendships, sports, jealousy, money, and life in general. We read novels together and talk about the characters and their motivations. She's a smart kid and a good kid and she seems to see what's going on around her.

As you point out, boys will be boys... I've thought long and hard about her dating and how I'll act when "that guy" comes around to call on my perfect little girl. I know what will be in his head and I understand - I'm not that old that I don't remember and still feel that way half the time. I'll be honest though - I am concerned.

I can't see the future and don't know how I will react in that moment that a boy knocks on my front door, but I do have an idea that I've been tossing around for a while and it involves just a few key things.

1. Trust my daughter implicitly. I'll keep talking to her about things like I always have and will trust her to make the right decisions for herself.

2. Challenge the little punk to a game of Madden. Let's see what's he's got and if he knows how to run an offense against my pressure defensive schemes. That ought to tell me just enough about the kid to know if he's worthy. If he can't play Madden, then 9 holes of golf with me and my daughter will do just fine.

3. Revert to #1 in all cases no matter the outcome of the Madden or golf game.

Jeff Sass · 1 year ago

Marc, thanks for the great comment (and the great Steve Martin lines!) I think you have a great plan, and reverting to #1 makes good sense. Kids at all ages are often smarter and more perceptive than we give them credit for, so when we give it to them, trust and responsibility go a long way. Enjoy the tweens!